Check Your Neighbor's System Update

The other day, I came across a video of a humanoid robot walking down a red carpet in a shopping mall. The crowd was transfixed—phones held high, faces filled with fascination. It got me thinking, not about the robot itself, but about what moments like this reveal about us.

We are obsessed with progress—at least, when it comes to technology. We eagerly anticipate software updates, rushing to install the latest iOS. We upgrade our phones, our cars, our appliances, and the tools we use daily without a second thought. A new version of anything, from a fridge to a smartwatch, is met with enthusiasm. If it improves efficiency, speed, or performance, we embrace it without hesitation.

But when it comes to the people around us—our friends, colleagues, family members—we don’t extend the same mentality. There’s no automatic acknowledgment that they, too, might have evolved. No curiosity about how they’ve changed, what they’ve learned, or how they might have upgraded their thinking, skills, or perspectives. We just assume they are the same as we’ve always known them to be.

We don’t exercise curiosity in our immediate environments. We don’t challenge ourselves to engage in deeper conversations with those around us. We don’t ask questions that might reveal how someone’s perspective has changed or what they’ve been learning. Instead, we default to surface-level exchanges, assuming that people remain static.

This has an effect—one we rarely consider. It impacts the way we form relationships, the way we see others, and even the way we navigate something as simple as buying gifts for people. We think we know them, but in reality, we’re engaging with outdated versions of who they were, not who they’ve become.

The Contradiction in How We Treat Success

While we overlook change in those around us, we have an almost obsessive admiration for people in the public eye. We watch documentaries about their struggles and breakthroughs, follow their career shifts, and analyze their decisions. When a public figure shares their personal growth, we find it compelling. Yet, when someone in our own life does the same, we rarely acknowledge it.

This contradiction exposes something odd about human behavior. We seem more comfortable with evolution when it’s happening from a distance. Perhaps it’s because there’s no direct comparison to our own lives—no implicit challenge to our own routines, perspectives, or progress. When someone in our immediate circle grows, it can feel like an unspoken reminder of our own stagnation, our own reluctance to change.

The Resistance to Recognizing Potential

This resistance is amplified when someone attempts to transition into something new, even when they have the ability to succeed. Elon Musk is a perfect example. He’s built a career on innovation—redefining industries, solving problems, and creating efficiency where it didn’t exist before. Yet, when he announced his interest in tackling government inefficiency, skepticism flooded in.

This wasn’t just political resistance; it was public resistance. Even though he has a proven track record of optimizing systems, people dismissed the idea that his approach could translate into a new field. Instead of seeing his past achievements as evidence of his ability to adapt, people focused on why he shouldn’t be involved at all.

It’s a strange contradiction: We demand proof of success before accepting that someone can excel in a new area, yet we ignore past successes when someone attempts a transition. This isn’t limited to high-profile individuals—it happens in our personal lives, too. If a friend or family member shifts their interests, deepens their knowledge, or pursues something outside of what we’ve always known them for, our instinct is often skepticism rather than curiosity.

The Fear of Change and the Comfort of Stagnation

Why do we behave this way? Why do we instinctively resist acknowledging change in those around us?

A large part of it may be rooted in insecurity. If we acknowledge that people in our environment are evolving, we are forced to confront whether or not we are doing the same. It’s easier to believe that everyone remains the same than to recognize that others are progressing while we remain in place.

This avoidance leads to isolation. I’ve had conversations with friends who have so much to share—new ideas, insights, perspectives—but they have no one to share them with. Not because people aren’t around, but because no one is asking. No one is engaging. There is an unspoken understanding that small talk is acceptable, but anything deeper, anything that challenges the status quo of conversation, is often unwelcome.

And yet, if we made the effort to truly learn about one another, to engage in curiosity rather than assumption, we could build stronger communities and deeper bonds. Instead of only admiring change from a distance, we could foster it in our own environments.

When Technology Knows Us Better Than People Do

Ironically, as technology evolves, it now understands us better than the people closest to us. Google knows our deepest questions, our most complex thoughts, our personal struggles—because we trust it enough to ask. ChatGPT can process and engage with ideas that many people wouldn’t even entertain in conversation. Algorithms track our preferences, our habits, and even our emotional shifts.

Why are we sharing these things with technology and not with each other?

Many would argue it’s about convenience, but that explanation feels too simplistic. The deeper reality is that we no longer have enough people in our lives who are willing to engage with these complexities. We don’t have environments where we can share our evolving thoughts, our ideas, or our intellectual curiosity without fear of being dismissed or ignored. So instead, we turn to technology—not because it’s better, but because it listens.

And that should be concerning.

Because while we continue engaging in surface-level conversations with those around us, our technology is absorbing the depth of who we are. It’s processing our curiosity, our anxieties, our ambitions, while human-to-human interaction remains stuck in predictable, repetitive patterns. We are, in effect, dumbing ourselves down while machines are evolving to understand us better than we understand each other.

Breaking the Cycle

If we can embrace technological progress so easily—if we can welcome software updates, admire AI advancements, and celebrate innovation—why can’t we extend that same openness to the people in our lives? Why don’t we recognize and encourage growth in those around us?

We need to move beyond transactional, surface-level conversations and start engaging in real dialogue. We need to be willing to ask questions, to challenge assumptions, and to acknowledge that people are not static. We should celebrate those who push themselves, who strive to learn, who evolve—whether they are in the public eye or sitting across the table from us.

Because if we don’t, we risk something far greater than social stagnation. We risk creating a world where machines evolve, while we remain standing still.